preacher's soapbox

not the usual "buy this" or "download that" conversation...

Here is an chronological list of all preacher's soapbox thoughts, comments, and insights. Please enjoy... Amen.

Updated 16 January, 2001

return home







My father was the most kind, gentle, giving human being I have ever known. He lived to love those around him. He gave of himself to anyone who asked and never asked anything in return. He was (and always shall be) my hero.

When I was about 12, he and my mom sat us kids down and explained that dad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Over the next 4 years, my father lost his mind; one piece at a time. He resisted with all his heart and soul as the memories of all his loved ones faded away until he didn't recognize anyone.

I remember the last time he recognized me - I'll never forget that day he said my name for the last time - that was the day I knew that if there was a God, he was cruel and deserved only my hatred and contempt. Everyday I cursed his name and denied his spirit...

Until the weekend of 31 October, 1997. Beginning that weekend, and during the years that followed, God made it His mission to communicate with me. To provide an understanding of that day I feared to remember - and to offer an invitation to walk, talk, and be with Him as He revealed to me a special possibility.

A possibility for me and for humanity to know a God who does not judge, demands no service or sacrifice, requires no ritual or rites, and knows nothing except pure, unconditional love for all His souls past, present, and future.

This is a God Who celebrates what it is to be God because of what it is for Us, His souls, to celebrate what it is to be human. He is the experience of God and the knowing of humanity; We are the experience of humanity and the knowing of God.

And my possibility is.... that there exists a way for me, you, and everyone to experience and know both - just as Jesus (and a few other masters) did.

I started writing this soapbox a couple of weeks ago. At first, the words just flowed. The topic was inspired and profound. But after the first few sentences, something happened; I'm not sure exactly which word or phrase it was, but I was suddenly unsure if the words had come from my ego or my soul - were they for for your benefit or my own. So after weeks of debate and toil over topic after topic, I finally choose to simply write only what feels authentic from my soul on each topic - be it profound statement or deep question - and leave out (at least for now) my own thoughts.

So here goes: Within the illusion of owning or possessing any of the "things" we have or hold in our lives - exists the reality of Who You Are, regardless of what things we have - and that is neither good nor bad, only Truth. "careful of what you ask for..." - Yes, it's an old phrase, still used by wise old sages everywhere. But why? What does it really mean to you? Does it have some larger, underlying significance? There are two fundamental forces in this Universe: love and fear. One is what it is to be God. The other is what it is to be human. So is it any wonder that most of us are taught to fear God. Are we that afraid of love?

I cam across this quote quite by accident, but stopped dead in my tracks as soon as I saw it...

"...and how shall they hear without a preacher?"

And when I read it a second time, I realized that it asks a seemingly rhetorical question that begs for a new answer. And that is exactly the place we need to start. You see, we've all been taught to hear God through the words of others; priests, rabbis, "holy" writings, zealous evangelists, and even your parents. All along, we forget (or choose to not accept) that God has the time (more on that another day), the desire, and the means to speak to EVERYONE - ANYTIME. All you need to do is LISTEN!

Thank you for listening and I'm sorry..... seems I have been taking the easy road here on preacher's soapbox by expressing only gratitude (albeit authentic) and effectively cheating you out of another possibility. One that is already there for each of us, but yet cannot be seen through the veil of our pasts. 

I made a bunch of song, text, and graphic updates on this site over the last couple of days. The first to appear is a seriously redone "house of the rising sun" that has vocals that I have been working on for a long time and now, I believe (hope) is ready for prime time. 

Aside from a couple of name and genre changes, the really chewy stuff is in the MP3 approval process and will appear on the page over the next week or so.

Responsibility. Think for a moment about what that means to you? If you're like most people, the word conjures up visions of domestic chores, moral obligations and/or copious quantities of blame, guilt, and shame.

Well, Id like to offer a somewhat different perspective of this over-used, often misunderstood concept that I came across some years ago. No kidding, it changed my life. However, to get through this and walk away with a new possibility, you're going to need to give up most of what the world's "conventional wisdom" has drilled into your mind. Not an easy task, but possibly a worthwhile one.

Responsibility starts with saying that you're the cause in the matter.

Responsibility is not burden, fault, praise, blame, credit, shame or guilt. In responsibility, there's no evaluation of good or bad, right or wrong - there is simply what's so, and your commitment in the matter.

Being responsible starts with the willingness to deal with a situation from the point of view that you are the creator of what you do, what you have, and what you are.

No one can make you responsible, nor can you impose responsibility on another person. It is a grace you give yourself - an empowering context that leaves you with a say in the matter of life.

I name my albums, as I name my songs, with intention. But unlike my songs which are usually named for a feeling or vision I had while playing or producing them individually, my albums are named with an intention that communicate a bigger idea. One that expresses a state of mind, philosophy, or personal truth.

"a snarl and a wink" was completely tongue-in-cheek and underlined my relationship with the guitar after not playing it for 16 years. (And that is another story, entirely.)

"holy smoke" was created from the pure joy of playing again for all those years. But, more than the complete astonishment that I could actually play (and there was plenty of that), it expressed my awe for the possibility of free music for everyone on the planet.

"altar ego" was my realization that I had denied, discounted, and avoided being "preacher" as long as I could and that the time to reconcile the two halves of me was at hand - soon after, I discovered I had cancer.

And now, months later, I am healed of cancer and healed of spirit. For the first time in my life, I can answer the question everybody is asked as a child - the same one most of us spend our whole lives trying to answer. Remember the question... "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

And now that I have finally answered that question within myself and have been playing and recording music that is coming from the most intense passion I have ever felt. And so, now that my newest album is close to complete, I named the album with the intention to express the power with which I have so deeply tapped into to play these songs.

My friends, I am proud and excited to bring you "blind faith."